Idea: A Blog

Ahem.

Testing, testing.

So, here it is.  A blog.  A lot of people asked if I were going to keep a blog to document The Big Move To China.  I like the idea, but I’ve never been a reliable writer.  I tend to write in fits and spurts: that time I gave the graduation speech, when my friend Robin signed me up for a murder mystery writing class, when my roommate suckered me into writing a slam for a thing at school, when we needed to rewrite the lyrics of “We Are Young” for the talent show at school to make them school-specific.

But perhaps now is a time for reliability.  It is definitely a time for change. 

I’ve written about the end of the school year elsewhere (Facebook, holla) (is that the correct use of the word “holla”?) (this is why I’m not a reliable writer), so I won’t go into it too much here, but I will share that saying goodbye to this school that raised me from teacher infancy into a teacher who is merely juvenile has been excruciatingly painful.  There were a lot of group hugs on Tuesday, which in general make me uncomfortable, but there was one moment in third period where a large group of juniors engulfed me, and it was just impossible – I couldn’t hold back this giant, wracking, convulsive sob.  It shook my entire body.  I felt like I was being ripped away, and for the first time it wasn’t like I was being ripped from one situation into another – I was being ripped from individuals that I love and cherish, and I cried, long and hard and ugly.

And who’s doing the ripping?  Be careful about using that passive voice, Crawford, because the culprit here is all you.  I am ripping myself away from my school.  I am ripping myself away from my wonderful beautiful amazing students and my wonderful beautiful amazing coworkers and friends and mentors and AUGHHHH. 

Yesterday I sat with my aunt on the pier at Alki and stared at my city. The mountain range was on my left and the Seattle skyline was on my right and the sun was hot and the water was a sparkling blue.  And I thought, “I have lived here for seven whole years.  That’s longer than anywhere I’ve lived in my entire adult life.  Do I even remember how to leave a place?”

There have definitely been a few moments when I’ve tipped my head back, Peanuts-character-style, and wailed my confusion to the world, “WHY???”

And the answer is?  Because I need to see what’s next.  I need to see what else.  It’s not about what’s more, because what could possibly be more than my school and my city?  There is no “more.”  But I have always been a person who needs to see what’s next over the horizon.  I need to experience all the places and hear all the stories.

And I am beginning to realize -- albeit reluctantly -- that I need to share my story as well.  This is a time for change, and I am going to try to be reliable.  I will write in this blog at least once a week this summer – shall we say Tuesdays? – and twice a week in the school year.  I will not post specific things about school or students (privacy, etc) but I will try to share with you all what it’s like to go from teaching in an American public school to a Chinese private school, and from living in Seattle to living in Beijing. 

On a side note, does anyone want a twenty-pound dilute tortoiseshell with an eating disorder and a really loud purr?  She’s fluffy.